~8.49pm~

Tonight we were having steamboat at home. Seeing them one family sitting there and eating, felt so upset. Why not my family? Why should I join other family? It reminds me about what the lion had told me “you shouldn’t stay here, you are unnecessary”. It was hurt, deeply hurt. Yesterday my brother comforted me. We couldn’t complain anyone, they are not our family, and they are just our relatives, no responsibility to take care of us. What they can do is just provide a place to stay and eat. The most terrible is my brother; I heard that he is staying in a factory. Yesterday was his birthday, suppose like other children, stay at home celebrates. However, he was alone in the factory, nobody cares for him. As his sister, I couldn’t do anything, wanted to contact him, but couldn’t. Maybe he switched off his phone. I really felt so hurt.. What could I do? Useless me, useless sister. In this afternoon, there were a Christmas tree allocated at the concourse (it’s fake) I wrote down my 2 wishes on the papers and hang it on the tree. I wish my two brothers have a good life in the future, and another one is I hope I could never lost my beloved soh lou. I LOVE YOU, DEAR. Anyway, yesterday was his birthday too. I went to watch movie and eat sakae sushi with him. There was nothing special. I gave him a wallet with a love letter as a birthday present. I hope he would like it. In this morning, there were four missed call and 2 messages from him. I was wondering what happened.. After I read the message, I was touch. He had read my letter, and he sent me a lovely message. I will keep it in my phone and also in my heart, forever and ever.. Thanks always at my side to support me; you are a great guy and a great boyfriend. I love u darling.. In my life, there are 5 persons are important for me- Kar keong (younger brother), Kah Hui (elder brother), Elaine Lim (best buddy), Ying Foong (best buddy), and DyiZi (boyfriend). I will appreciate what Jesus had given to me.. And I would like to thank to my cousins- mong yi, sooky and kar wai and also all my beloved friends.. They are really great persons that I had ever met. ~LOVE YOU GUYS~

~pityful life~

can anyone tell me where's my real house? i'm just like a rubbish, when they need me, they pick me up, when they don't need me, just throw me away.. i can't do like what others can. i hope i can stay with my parents, they are much much better than anyone.. they are the one who can protect me.. but they have gone, leave me alone here.. i hope somebody can save me from the darkness, from the hell.. i don't want everyday suffer like this..